“Bart, I thought the depression blues went away already. Its back.”, I told my High School bestfriend.
“I thought I was over it. I’ve been out of town twice with friends last month, but somehow, I still can’t manage to be really happy. Its like there’s a dark cloud following me. Its fun and all, but you know, there’s something missing. I can’t seem to point it out. Its fun but its empty.”, I hugged a throw pillow and cuddled myself at the edge of the couch.
“Its December. You’re always like that when its December.”, she replied in an ‘as-a-matter-of-fact’ manner.
“What? Really?! Noo…I was happy last December. “, I said defensively.
“No you weren’t. You were also like that last year. Its really the Christmas season. Its either you’re really happy or you’re really lonely. I feel the loneliness too, sometimes.”, she admitted.
I sipped my warm cup of cappuccino as if to fill the suspended void blotched inside me.
“Perhaps I’m not over the quarter life crisis. I thought I already was.”, I answered back.
“You are experiencing the FOMO.”, she said. “Thats what Chris said to me when I was having that kind of episode.”,
“Some people think I’m living “the life”. They don’t know that I am a floating being of emptiness..”
“Well they only know you because of facebook. Of course we only post good stuff in facebook.”
“If they only knew.”, I continued gulping my cappuccino until all that was left was the foam that settled at the bottom of the glass. It wouldn’t come down, and I still wanted to drink it.
Nothing is ever enough, I thought to myself.